Saturday, 19 November 2016

Some Wild Life of Texada Island.

Yearling tasting my tomato plants.
The twin Bucks greeting each other.

Curious Doe & My Big Jess! 
Mom & 2016 Twins
Mom & Dad Crow preening!
Heron in a tree. 

One of the Flickers.
Eagle on what's called the nesting tree.
Eagle on the look out.

Texada Island, the place I call home.

It's amazing at time how much life can change and how quickly. Earlier this year, I put out an idea on a Facebook message board. It was a board linked to my old home Island. I was tired of working for the big box store and thought how can I change my life. I was also tired of trying to find a place to buy that I really felt I'd like to stay for a while but not finding it.  Instead of complaining, I decided to try to do something about what was making me feel unsettled and not overly happy. As it happens, sometime the universe decides yes it's time for your change.

I decided to look outside the box for places to live. The box turned into a circle. The circle lead me back to my old home Island. I grew up on Texada Island. From the time I was 5 - 19  until when I went to college that was where home was. Like many of the young people on the Island I couldn't wait to get off and explore. Family still live on the Island so in some way the Island still had a place in my heart over all those years. College was the start of a 34 year journey off the Island. It took me to Calgary for college. Victoria where I got married and had my children. Cold Lake, AB for ten years as my then husband was posted with the Military. Back to Comox Valley where my marriage came to an end and my children eventually moved away. Then back out to Calgary for less than one year. Back to Comox Valley to help care for my Dad after my Step-mom died. A year after the death of my Dad, the longing for the sense of community lead me back to HOME.

I've been able to start my own business, buy myself a place that pays the mortgage payments. I have my yard I've been yearning for these past 5 years. The cats are loving being able to get outside again. I enjoy the tranquility of the Island life style. Of course I miss my friends from Vancouver Island and on occasion miss the ability to shop at almost anytime if I need to. Around here you definitely don't forget your shopping list when heading over to Powell River to do a bigger shopping for items you can't get over here. 

My traffic jams now consist of waiting for Deer to cross the road. The other day I stopped the car as 10 wild Turkeys came down the gravel road I was on to check out my car. The wild life is amazing and I get to stop and enjoy it. It took years, of me doing what I needed to do at that time of my life, to get back to this slower pace of life on this Island.  I'm now at the stage of my life to really enjoy and appreciate what this Island has to offer me.  

Positive Thought Today:  It's never too late to make a change for the positive.

Saturday, 26 December 2015


It's early morning on Boxing Day. I've been up for hours. Tons of stuff roaming around in my head. It's been quite a year. Not a great one for many of us. I'm also going to add on the positive side not nearly as bad as it has been for millions of others. Family members and friends didn't make it through this year. I guess when you're in your 50's it starts to happen more frequently than when we were in our 20's & 30's. Life goes on for us left behind...we go on and remember the loved ones lost. They might not be around but they are always in our hearts and heads. 

I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a religious person. Why well I  have my reasons. I do think I've an open mind that death isn't it for us. The older I've gotten the more I believe that...not just because I'm starting to face my own mortality. I believe I've been receiving signs for loved ones. I'm not claiming I'm able to communicate with those who have departed this world. I just seem to get signs that I interpret as a loved one letting me know they are around. 

These signs have been little things, like a scent. I know this sounds a bit silly, my Mom use to wear a deodorant that's not available now. It had a distinct scent, I get a whiff of it once in a while when no one else is around.  A picture in a news paper just after my Dad's death earlier this year. Our last outing together was to see the Sea Lions that sun themselves in Fanny Bay. I couple of days after I went back to work there they were on the front page of the news paper. Or the latest one was a Medium directed to tell me about something she couldn't have possibly know about while I was in the store browsing around. No she didn't ask me to buy anything she just wanted to know why she had been directed to talk to me about the worry stones I was standing beside. I'm quite sure it was my Dad saying hi and also having some fun. The Medium had goose bumps all over her arms....she thought it was wonderful my Dad was starting her day off with so much energy. Dad slightly freaked out the Medium...he would have laughed about that. British sense of humour. Oh and no I wasn't there to get a reading I was in the shop browsing around for Christmas gifts. It's ok if while you're reading this you're sceptic, I wouldn't push what I believe happened for me on you. 

On a good note...I might finally be able to buy a place of my own. It's a small place, I will be down sizing. It will have some property so I can finally have a garden. Now just to get rolling on all the stuff I have to do to get the mortgage for it. 

Positive thought....Our loved ones may be gone in body, but they are never really gone as long as we keep them in our heart. Here's looking forward to a wonderful year. 

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Rambles of the mind!!

It's really amazing what goes on in the mind in the middle of the night. A couple of weeks ago during a sleepless night my mind decided it needed me to write down it's thoughts so if could quieten down.  It's not poetry but just rambles of words strung together after midnight.  At least after writing the thoughts down I was able to get some sleep!!

Who am I? An imperfect human. I love, have loved and will love. I've been hurt and possibly hurt. My body shows the signs I've lived. My mind has learned, it remembers, in the coming years it might forget. I'm not perfect for all, I'm perfect for the few. The few who loved me, who love me. An imperfect human. A perfect me!

It's dark outside, I should be asleep. What is sleep? A time when the mind takes a break. A break from the daily grind. Does the mind ever sleep? If it does why am I awake? My mind has woken from sleep, it has things to ponder thoughts to analyze. Please mind take a break from your thoughts let me drift back to sleep before the break of dawn. 

The thoughts of my mind race through the night. How the mind does wander. What paths tonight will it take? Twisting, turning trying to reach the end. Though the journey maybe long and windy, let the mind find peace as it works through each thought. Trying to find conclusions at the end of each path. Hopefully there are conclusions to be found at the paths end.

The consistency in ones life is change. Change besides birth and death are the only things that are consistent in all life. 

Good thought for the day:  Enjoy what your mind has to offer you in the middle of the night. Often when you stop thinking the solutions to your questions arrive. 

Monday, 9 March 2015

The Passing of a Wonderful Man

It's been ages since my last post. My Dad's health and well being stayed the same for quite sometime. I could though see his mind slipping away. He was as usual able to get through the Flu & Norwalk virus season. In the three weeks we couldn't go into the Senior's Village, so we didn't spread the  Norwalk virus, Dad started to have more frequent mini-strokes. When I was able to start with my visits again at the end of January I could see the toll they were taking on him. Interaction had changed again he was less responsive but I could still get a smile and a laugh. Thankfully his dementia didn't take that completely away from him.

On February 11, 2015 the nurses noticed that my Dad wasn't his usual self. They did a quick test and found he had a bladder infection. That's not uncommon in older people. He had a couple before and was treated with antibiotics. This time it was different, by day 4 he just wasn't bouncing back as he usually did. I could tell this time things weren't going well. He was again tested and the infection was gone by the 7th day. I'm not sure what changed this time, was it his mind and body saying that enough was enough. After 88 years on this earth it was time to leave?

What ever it was in him that decided, it was time, made sure he didn't linger.That was one thing he had always feared, he would be lingering in bed for years. His decline happened so fast. It seemed peaceful and rather easy if you can say that about dying. He stopped eating and started sleeping more through that last week. We respected his wishes of no excessive intervention. The wonderful Care Aides,  Nurses and his Doctor of the Senior's Village showed love and respect while caring for him. 

On what was to be his last day, I received a call in the morning saying I should get over right away. It seemed death was only a few hours away. I help my phone up to his ear as my brother was still in AZ for him to say goodbye. I know I saw Dad's eyes move so I'm sure he recognized my brother's voice. My Dad held on until about 12:30 am the next morning Feb 23, 2015. I was just going to lie down on the cot in his room but before doing that I had decided I needed to put another blanket on him. He then opened his eyes for a few brief moments, I was able to reassure him I was still there, then he took one last breath. It was over!!  Why did he wait until February 23rd. We realized it was his Dad's birthday!! The Universe is mysterious. 

I can't say I'm a religious person as I'm not. Somewhat spiritual is more how I feel. Do I think Dad is at peace I think so as in his room it felt peaceful. I also think he sent me a sign a few days after going back to work. One of the last outing we shared was a trip to see the Sea Lions at Fanny Bay. He so enjoyed that day. On the front of the newspaper was a picture of those Sea Lions!! Was that his sign to me I think it was. 

Rest In Peace are loved by many!!!

My good thought for the day.... I know how much I was loved!!!  

Monday, 21 July 2014

It can be hard to smile..but I will

Two weeks ago was a rather difficult week in my Dad's life. His dementia was taking over his body during that week. There was a probable small stroke & a fall. Me being the only one dealing with these events had a rather gloomy mental point of view during the week. Being the one who receives & deals with the phone calls from the Seniors village does take it's toll. When ever I see the name, from the place he is living, come up on my phone my heart rate goes up. Of course I know that the issues I deal with are not that big compared to the problems of some people. Knowing this doesn't always make it easier to see the brighter side of life. 

Dementia is a horrible disease. For the person going though it and the family members. It's amazing how fast Dad's state of mind has deteriorated since 2011. Even in the past year he has gone from a man who could live in Assisted Living to needing 24/7 care. He thankfully still has a sense of humour. I feel though, some days, my visits trigger sad memories for him. The other day when I was over he had a very hard time figuring out where my Step-mom was then he would realize Beryl was dead. His mind has some of the events of her death, but most of them are now scrambled. It's so sad watching him remember over and over her death. He also doesn't remember he was with her right through to her last day.  He feels like he has let her down because he wasn't there, when indeed he was by her bedside. Hopefully his mind will stop with the sadness of remembering Beryl as it has done in the past. I try the best I can to comfort him and try to get his mind to go to other happier thoughts. 

My positive thought for today....Dad did rebound from a bad week. For that I am able to smile.

Monday, 5 May 2014

Weather Pictures

Sun Setting on a Foggy January Evening 2014

Foggy January Evening 2014
Feb 10th 2014

I think this was in the afternoon of
 Feb 10th 2014
Waiting for my car to defrost early morning Feb 24th 2014

It had been snowing through the night
 Feb 24th 2014
The parking lot at work. Feb 24th 2014 I was
 one of the first people into work at 6 am.

The drive to work wasn't fun Feb 24th 2014 Ryan Rd Hill
was a mess of deep slushy snow!